Many times, saying No is a key to happiness.
How many times in life has it happened that, had you said NO right in the beginning, then you would had been a happy, carefree person now, but instead are a worried and miserable person now because you said YES?
There is hardly a person in the world who would not like to be liked by other people. All our life we try to be nice to people in the hope that by doing so, they will like us. Of course there are exceptions where some people enjoy being nasty to others.
However, in our attempt to be liked by others, we may, unknowingly, entrap ourselves in situations that make us miserable and unhappy.
The ability to say no can save us from such situations though it may, on some occasions, cost us or at least sour relations that we value.
Supposing a friend or a relative approaches you for a loan of an amount that is neither small nor very substantial. There is really no way for us to know if a person is in genuine need or not.
But even if a person is in genuine need, there is no reason for us to share his need and give him a loan.
Giving a loan results in changing the relation between the two of you. It will become very difficult, nay impossible, to view that person the same way as before.
But more importantly, as money is such an important commodity essential for living, either by spending it immediately or by saving it for the future, the person giving the loan may find himself constantly worried about getting back the amount.
Imagination is a powerful tool and can easily destroy your peace of mind. Now not only has money parted from you but peace of mind may also depart from you. If only you had said NO right at the beginning!
And so does it happen with many of our day to day affairs in life. Saying 'NO' can save many situations for you. Yes, it involves some mental trauma in the beginning, but it also saves a lot of trauma for the rest of the life.
It is also important to remember that people are always trying to manipulate you to serve their means. Remember how you approach a friend when you want a favour? Don’t you go to him with a smiling face, ask about his health, maybe about his family, praise him for something and so on before asking him for the favour? That is manipulation and the whole world is constantly doing it.
Nothing wrong with it. However, when someone does it to you, be on your guard. You don’t want to unnecessarily take on somebody else’s burden.
Saying No at
the right moment is important not only in money matters but in other spheres of
life too. For example, saying 'No' to your partner on certain occasions may be
bitter at that time but may save you embarrassment later on.
Or, saying No to some demand of your child may help inculcate some discipline in him as otherwise an attitude develops in him that the world owes him everything.
So, henceforth, don’t worry about short term damages to your reputation, ego or mental peace. If long term effects are healthy, then don’t shy away from saying Nyet.