The ‘ifs and buts’ that we employ in our life decide the outcome of our life.
If only my parents were rich, I would have been rich today.
If only I had been treated differently during childhood, I would have been successful today.
I could have got my promotion but my colleagues pulled me down.
I could have been a successful businessman but I did not have enough resources to begin with.
How many times have we used such ‘ifs and buts’ to defend ourselves from ourselves?
Excuses are the biggest hindrance to progress. They steal the wind from our sail.
It is true that success has many fathers and failure has none but we have to remember that failure is not the end of everything. In fact, every failure can be a stepping stone to success if our attitude is correct.
Somebody has rightly said that failure isn’t a problem but our reaction to it is. And one of the wrong reactions is using an excuse starting with “If”.
“What if…” is a question that has perplexed philosophers as well as scientists. If they have not been able to find an answer to the question, why should we bother about it?
It is not possible to go into the past and change things or circumstances. Then why waste energy in thinking about the ‘ifs and buts’? This same energy can be used to make a new start.
The fact is that these excuses represent the hidden, unfulfilled desires in our mind. We wanted our father to be rich so that we could have led a luxurious life instead of struggling through life. Then, when we fail in an endeavour, the frustration comes out in the form of the ‘If…’ statement.
What we fail to see is that when the mind satisfies itself with an excuse, chances of future success also dim because the mind has now found an effective way of replacing the struggle for success by effective excuses.
There is an effective way of using the ‘Ifs and Buts’. Instead of making an excuse by starting the sentence with ‘If’, start a new plan with ‘If’.
“If only my parents were rich, I would have been rich today” becomes “If I plan properly, work hard, earn and invest, and reinvest, then I’ll be rich one day and so will be my children.” You see that what is required is only a change of perspective.
Another way is to change the angle of looking at the past. “If only I had been treated differently during childhood, I would have been successful today” can become “Whatever be my past, my future is in my hands. My past will NOT affect my future.”
So avoid sitting on your butt and offering the excuse containing ‘but’. Get into action mode and do away with these excuses.