Knowing low self esteem signs is important because then we can identify low self esteem and take steps to improve it. Without knowing there can be no identifying, without identifying there can be no curing.
All humans radiate thoughts and feelings. These are ‘caught’ or ‘trapped’ by people at large.
People and circumstances of a similar nature are then attracted to us.
Everything in life is ruled by this law – ‘like attracts like’ or ‘birds of the same feather flock together’. This is the law of attraction.
That is also why it is said that we don't attract into our life what we want. We attract what we are.
That is also the reason why we should be happy now even if the circumstances are not happy. Because if we are happy now, that will attract happiness in the future.
Famous author Louise L. Hay gives an excellent story of how her low self esteem as a child attracted misery, in her best selling book ‘You Can Heal Your Life’.
As a child, she came from a very humble background, wore very simple clothes and had low self esteem because of abuse at home.
One day in her school, there was a party and pieces of cake were being distributed.
She was of course, standing last (due to her low self esteem).
Some students from well-to-do families got 2-3 pieces of cake.
By the time the teacher reached Louise, there was no cake left.
It was as if to reinforce her belief that she did not ‘deserve’ that cake. Low self esteem at work!
Criminologists tell us that criminals who abuse children are precisely able to pick their victims from a group of children.
In almost all cases, these victims have a low self esteem and a majority of them have a history of abuse.
They ‘radiate’ their helplessness which is caught by the criminal-in-waiting.
Low self esteem signs are easy to spot. The following list is only indicative, not exhaustive.
Lack of Self Confidence
Low self esteem results in lack of self confidence. This is exhibited in a variety of ways. Such people will always seek approval from others. However an excellent job they may do, they feel comfortable only when others appreciate it.
Another sign of lack of confidence is bragging. Such people will talk no end about their non existent achievements. It is their way of proving to themselves of their superiority over others, because in real life they lack the confidence of doing better than others.
These are people who are frightened of everything in life. They will try to hide themselves from everybody, be invisible, get lost in a crowd and generally make themselves inconsequential. They will obey everybody except themselves.
Absence of Assertiveness
Such people are usually unable to say ‘No’ to anybody. They are unable to assert themselves. They cannot stand up even for their rights. They lack in assertiveness.
At the other extreme, such people are overly aggressive. It is mainly a show off of false strength. They will exhibit this aggression mainly in front of other timid people.
Pretending What They Are Not
Another low self esteem sign is pretension. Such people will pretend in order to keep up with appearances. They will spend money when they are financially strained, buy things they don’t require and ill afford and in general try to impress people with whom they have a mutual dislike.
Nonconformist and Anti Social Behaviour
People with low self esteem are attention seekers. Because they are generally ignored by people, they will purposely do something stupid to gain attention. It has been found out that there are criminals (they normally have low self esteem) who commit crimes simply to get noticed. They don’t mind the resulting punishment for the same!
Such people tend to avoid taking responsibility. Hence, taking firm decisions is not their forte. Lack of courage and fear of criticism prompt them to postpone taking decisions.
Rebelling against authority for the sake of rebelling is another sign of low self esteem. Rebelling out of conviction or rebelling for the sake of one’s rights is one thing and rebelling just for the heck of it even when the authority is right is another.
Lack of Generosity
These people lack generosity. They are stingy in everything. Even giving compliments is a difficult task for them. They feel embarrassed even when receiving compliments as they feel that they are undeserving of it. It is next to impossible for them to help somebody monetarily or give monetary donations.
Another low self esteem sign is the material mentality of these people. They will judge other people on the basis of their material possessions, not on the basis of their qualities. For them, a rich person is more valuable than a poor person, even though the poor person may have better qualities.
Not all these low self esteem symptoms are necessarily present in a person having low self esteem. Some may be present in more or less degree while some may be absent.
What is important is that we be able to note the low self esteem signs so that we are able to take necessary measures to improve them.
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